Donald Trump vs. Carly Fiorina: The Definitive Scorecard

At CNN’s Republican debate, and ever since, Donald Trump and Carly Fiorina have been attacking each other’s business records—which is sort of like a fight between asbestos and thalidomide, i.e., sad and pointless. But anyway, a scorecard:

Nickname

“The Donald”

“Carly Fiorina? More like Carly Fired-Her-Own-Nana”

Notable physical characteristics

Hairstyle often described as large, pumpkin-spice-flavored dust bunny; short fingers.

Facial features locked into perpetual “Who farted?” frown.

Primary business credentials

Chairman, C.E.O., and president of the Trump Organization, a New York City–based licensing, marketing, and branding firm; formerly owner of or partner of some sort in: the Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Plaza, and Trump Marina Hotels and Casinos; Trump Airlines; Trump University; Trump magazine; the New Jersey Generals (actual mid-1980s off-brand professional football franchise, not the fake team from bad sports movie).

Former C.E.O. of Hewlett-Packard, a Palo Alto–based manufacturer of computers and software for the cast of Friends.

Early display of business acumen

Converting the decrepit Commodore Hotel on 42nd Street into the Grand Hyatt (New York’s prototypical steel-and-glass echt-1980s hotel) with rarely acknowledged assistance of massive $400 million tax abatement as well as loans from his father, Fred Trump, which helped cover upwards of $50 million in cost overruns.

Parlaying success as an executive at Lucent Technologies into a C.E.O. offer from Hewlett-Packard in 1999, two years before Lucent’s value collapsed amid a $1.1 billion accounting-fraud scandal.