These Are The Automaker CEOs You’d Bet On In A Battle Royale

Last week I asked all of you beautiful people which automaker CEO would win in an all-out battle royale to decide the fates of their companies. This was not a hypothetical that interested many of you, it seems, because it only got 18 comments — of which five are unique, valid entries. So, today’s Answer Of The Day is a nice quick one for your holiday weekend. Happy Fourth of July, go barbecue something about it.

I put all that work into that top image! I had to boot up “Guilty Gear Strive” for that — do you know how long that takes, after all its tries to connect to its servers that I didn’t need? I’d hoped that one would get more play, but alas. Maybe people just don’t want to think about CEOs killing each other in cold blood. Could that be the issue? Anyway, here are the five answers.

Christian von Koenigsegg

And, it not even close. Dude would go Tony Stark and build a battlesuit or something prior to the brawl out of scraps laying around.

He individually holds 25 automotive patents. He’s the only real “car maker” in charge of a company. Everyone else could be enthusiasts such as Ford’s Farley, but Christian is only one of them, who could conceive, design, and build a car 100% by himself.

Submitted by: Dr.Xyster

Dr.Xyster is my favorite answerer this time around, purely because I had fun Photoshopping Christian von Koenigsegg into an Iron Man suit and I’m glad I got the opportunity to do so. I needed a good Photoshopped image for this one, after RJ Scaringe as Sin Kiske and Jim Farley as Goldlewis Dickinson in the ask, and Dr.Xyster gave me an opening.

100 percent Lamborghini’s Stefan Winkelmann, who is a former German army paratrooper. (I originally thought he had been an Italian Alpini, but Wiki disagrees.)

Also, look at his eyes. He’s definitely killed people.

Submitted by: spartacus2

This is the only Getty Image that seems to exist of Lamborghini’s Stefan Winkelmann, which demonstrated his commitment to maintaining cover and operational security. 

Mary Barra. It’s the quiet ones you need to watch out for.

Submitted by: Crucial Taunt

I’m torn on Mary Barra’s chances here. On the one hand, she clearly has the capacity to end all other competitors if not all other living beings with the greatest of ease. On the other, I think the other CEOs would recognize that capacity — they may gang up on her and get her early. 

I wouldn’t count out Musk, because you know he’d fight dirty and buy any advantage he find. I’m not saying I’m rooting for him, but I wouldn’t turn my back on him.

Submitted by: BuddyS

Unfortunately for Musk’s chances here, most of his experience seems to be with fake guns from video games. He also doesn’t seem to have a great idea of what counts as bulletproof. 

I’m going to back Xiaomi CEO Lei Jun. He would use his knowledge of mobile phones to devise some tricky James Bond-esque spy gadgets to outfox his competition.

Submitted by: Giantsgiants

Much like Koenigsegg’s entry, this is the kind of thinking I like. Let’s see Lei Jun as the Jeffery Wright character from the “Hunger Games” sequel. I like his chances here.